Who Has Your Back?

Posted by: Wayne Long on January 14th, 2010

Who REALLY has your back?  The question is of obvious importance but most of us have no clue as to the answer.

Recently I picked up a book, by Keith Ferrazzi, with the name, Who’s Got Your Back.  The book discusses the importance of finding and developing deep relationships with an “inner circle” of friends and associates who have your best interest at heart, will be candid with you, and who will help you with your real estate business and personal growth.

As I was reading through I realized that I have done this in my life without the formal teammatesattempt but that I could carry this advantage much further if I made it a conscious priority in my life.  I feel like this may be the best book I read all year and will contribute to my future growth in exponential ways.  So, I felt like I should share this with the HomeGain real estate community.

One of the statements in the book that really struck me was that even though we are more connected than ever through our cell phones and the internet we seem to be more alone.

The book stated that in 1985 the average American had 3 people to whom they could confide matters but by 2006 that number had dropped to 2 and that 25% of Americans admitted that they had no confidants at all.

Wow! It is tough to go through life when you have no true confidants to bounce tough situations off of.

Ferrazzi  says it does not have to be this way and that we can proactively create these transformative relationships and positive life changes.  He proposes that we need “lifeline relationships” that are peer to peer based between essential equals.  Although he says mentor relationships are important — they are not the same as lifeline relationships. Lifelines are between equals where mentor relationships are between master and apprentice.

The key is to find a group with whom you can apply 4 key mind sets:
1)    Generosity
2)    Vulnerability
3)    Candor
4)    Accountability

I have found that these types of relationships require time.   It takes time to know if someone is really “all in” as a “true lifeline”.  I spent the last couple of days with some of my “lifelines” (I know they are true lifelines because of the trust built up over a period of time and the fact that I am most certainly farther down the road than I would have been on my own) and with possible new lifelines.  These relationships are most certainly worth the time and effort!

I don’t have time to fully develop the ideas put forward in the book so I highly recommend that you pick up this book and give it a read.  If I can be a lifeline to you — contact me through my Columbus Home Show website.



6 Comments on “Who Has Your Back?”


Great blog! It is important to remember the true friendships, not acquaintances, are what sustain you during the tough times and enrich you during the good times. It is my belief that the advent of cell phones, email and texting has actually hindered the development of friendships. We tend to think they replace face-to-face interaction.

Cal Carter

Hey Wayne, I already consider you one of my lifelines! Thanks for being a friend!

Southwest Wisconsin Real Estate

Great post, I am lucky it seems as I have around 5 or 6 people who I can really trust and confide in. Keep up the Great Work!!

Eric Blackwell

Great points made all around. BTW- Thanks a ton for sending me the book as I was recuperating a few months back.
It is every bit as good of a read as you claim.
I consider you an equal. Always have.



Portland Condo Auctions

Very good point. I really feel that a relationship is supposed to provide this kind of support, but you should be able to find it in parents, siblings, and friends that you trust. Surround yourself with people that you watch their backs and they watch yours. Makes life more fun as well as easier. -Tyler

Glass Bottles

Great post. It is always a good thing and an important thing to be in relationships, they make all the difference in the world on many levels.

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