HomeGain Invents Agent Profiles

Posted by Louis Cammarosano on Apr 10, 2008

The world changed forever this morning.

Today, HomeGain launched a new feature for its Source4Sellers program, the first in a series of three revolutionary upgrades.

Starting today, real estate agents will have the ability to load their personal profiles, their “Agent Profiles”, right onto HomeGain.

This is the future of real estate marketing. It is also the future of how we will lead our lives and how our grandchildren will lead their lives.

“We are as excited about this groundbreaking feature as we were when we impacted the entire universe when we launched the first instant home valuation tool back in 2000, a tool that launched a few Zimitators,” stated HomeGain General Manager, Louis Cammarosano.

“I was meeting with a few hundred of our product managers the other day,” continued Mr. Cammarosano, “and we were thinking, ‘how can we present our agents’ best foot forward, how can we do something that has never been done before?’

Then it hit us all at once in a collective fit of the type of mass innovation that is common at HomeGain—“Agent Profiles”. We all looked at each other and shouted in unison, “GENIUS!”

Today we see the results of that monumental moment in human intellectual and creative history.

Max, the HomeGain gorilla, was shaken from his vine when he received news of the HomeGain Agent Profile release.
“When I heard of this revolutionary release, I felt the earth move under my feet and I felt the skies come tumbling down,” said Max.

Max was rushed to his personal veternarian, Dr. Wolliz and is being held under observation for severe trauma. Dr. Wolliz said, “While simians have a high tolerance for surprise, the magnitude of HomeGain’ Agent Profile release was too much of a strain on Max.”

Dr. Wolliz said he was considering electro shock treatment for Max. “We may have to shock the monkey,” cautioned Dr. Wolliz.

Forget what Comscore/Media Metrix says, our internal visitor tracking shows that HomeGain gets 200 million unique visits A DAY. HomeGain has scheduled an unplanned outage later today in anticipation of a doubling our traffic, so please bear with us.

We will see you all when we recover from the barrage of visitors to our web sites and deluge of press inquiries.

Remember where you were when you read this on April 11, 2008.

Disclaimer:

The foregoing is 100% untrue—other than the statement “the world changed forever this morning”—it changes every day. The foregoing is, as they say in England, a load of bullocks. So Never Mind the Bullocks!

BTW, there is no Dr. Wolliz (his name is “Zillow” spelled backwards), Max is fine and our site should be up all day.

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